What are unicorns? Finding that elusive single woman

The swinger community has a term called unicorns. I’ve never been to a swinger party, but the term is used to refer to the elusive single woman are a swingers event. Couples looking to find a single woman to hook up with are said to be unicorn hunting, because in reality single women very rarely go to those parties, its more of a couples thing.

Someone on Quora asked how to find a “unicorn” and I gave my input, as anyone who has read my writing before I’m very anti swinger party, and swinger websites. Its absolutely not needed if you are looking to setup a threesome or longterm circle relationship. Here is some advice if you are a couple serious about finding another woman.

  1. Avoid scouting in your social circle. Some people don’t want it to get out that they are in a non-traditional relationship. A failed attempt could mean having your relationship enter the rumor mill or worse, losing a friend. Even if the attempt succeeds but the relationship later fails, you risk the same issues.
  2. The most success I’ve had is meeting women at cafes. Waitresses in restaurants, attractive female students sitting next to you in a cafe. etc. If you are together as a couple, just have your girlfriend chat her up and simply try to be fun and amusing. If you are alone at the time, chat her up like you would a normal pickup, then when you go to ask for her number say something like “hey, you’re really sweet, I’d love to hang out with you again…but…I’m sure my girlfriend would really love to meet you, give me your number and I’ll have her text you and setup a chance to get together sometime”

The woman is going to be caught off guard by this very unusual pickup. But the majority of the time if she thinks you are cool, she will happily give you her number. Then just have your girlfriend follow up. Don’t contact her first, let your girlfriend do that.

When your girlfriend contacts her (txt is preferred), she shouldn’t immediately set a date to meet. Have her send a few txt msg’s to introduce herself and get to know the other woman. Once they have a good vibe going on via txt she can decide what the best first date is (obviously don’t call it date).

I think going out for drinks or dinner is a good start. If the vibe is good, just casually head back home for more drinks, to play xbox or look at your vacation pictures. Whatever gives a level of plausible deniability.

At some point prior to actual sex the other girl is likely to ask what your “relationship” is, say you are bf and gf, make sure you say nice things about your partner and vice versa and have your girlfriend say once early in the interaction “don’t worry, I’m not the jealous type!” it should be said in a joking manner and only once. That will be more than enough.

Finding a girl for threesomes online

I posted this originally on Quora, but reposting here again.

SugarDaddy websites are useful for this. There are a number of women looking for SugarMommies. If your girlfriend sets up the profile and does the searching and explains to the baby that you are a couple, you won’t have any problems.

Swinger websites are horrible for this type of thing if you actually want to have a lasting relationship. Most of the women I’ve meet on swing or “lifestyle” websites get around a lot. Some people are put off by that.

I’ve always had the best luck approaching “straight” women in more casual environments like cafes. When you approach as a couple and are non-explicit most women will get the idea of what could go down, especially when you invite the woman back to your place for a drink either that night or another night in the near future. Much easier than you think to pick up women face to face as a couple. Give it a try.